Ladies & Gentleman,
Welcome back! I trust you have been keeping well. This discussion is a juicy one with it revolving around abstinence. For those of you who don't know what it means,"Sexual abstinence or sexual restraint is the practice of refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity for medical, psychological, legal, social, financial, philosophical, moral, or religious reasons." In this discussion I am focusing particularly on the effectiveness of sexual abstinence for religious purposes in a world where science tells us sex has several health benefits...what do we do?
Scientific research tells us that sex has positive effects on your health. A study in Pennsylvania found students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of an important illness-fighting substance in their bodies. Immunoglobulin A (IgA) was 30% higher in those who had sex once or twice a week than in those who had no sex at all. Aside from this, when most people engage in sex they are expressing a symbol of 'trust', 'vulnerability' and 'comfortability' with each other. This is what I wanted to pay particular attention to, because if you have decided to be abstinent in a relationship, you have to learn to express the aforementioned symbols in a different way in order for it to work effectively.
The majority of the time, religion encourages abstinence as a method to draw closer to God, a method of self respect and saving ourselves until marriage. I respect and appreciate these values, but I want to reiterate that being abstinent means you have to work harder in other areas to ensure your partner does not feel emotional or physically neglected. How do you develop a love language?
Conversation & Communication
Intimacy tells your partner...'I am attracted to you'. When physical intimacy is out of the equation, you must go out of your way to remind your partner that you still are attracted to them i.e. regular compliments and paying attention to changes lets them know you are trying to study them and get to know their heart.
Go on dates, create memories and enjoy each others company! Create a balance between life and religion. Make religion a priority but do not lose track of satisfying the needs of the relationship. Everybody likes to be spoilt, right?
Expressing your frustrations
There may be points where you become frustrated with the idea of abstinence and it is very important to communicate this with your partner. It is not an easy journey and if your partner is telling you that all is jolly good, they are lying. Communication during your down times may strengthen you as your partner may comfort you and remind you of why you embarked on this journey in the first place.
Anyways I left men in 2018, so feel free to share some tips or opinions on this matter with us below or on any socials!
Until next time,
Welcome back Ladies & Gentlemen!
Today we're discussing family! If you know me you would know my family is my pride and joy, but there is a plot twist. I am the eldest Granddaughter of my Grandmother...who was the last of my Grandfather's five wives. Yes my Grandfather was a polygamist...five wives, at once. Consequently, my family is rather large and I only realised that when I started school and my peers would tell me they had one or two aunties, leaving me puzzled. I was so accustomed to a family of 25+ aunties and uncles, that I actually felt sorry for them when I learnt of their small families, ignorant to the fact that my case study was not common.
As I grew older and left home, having a polygamous family definitely saved me from having a mental breakdown. I am an individual that "just gets on with it", but having family that would pay me visits, call me regularly and provide a large support network was and is fantastic! It helped me deal with numerous things, that even they are unaware of. Now I have given you an insight into my story, I would to address some ways you can provide a good support network for somebody who is open to it.
Being a good support
In order to provide the best support for somebody, you need to be able to relate to them and speak on what you have experienced. Learn to understand the same language, rather than just speak it. Take this metaphorically, and note that until your focus is on understanding people you will only just hear them.
Also have understanding of the essence of spirit. People are most protective of their spirit and when trying to help others, most of us our so concerned with trying to get into their mind that we forget to project an aura they can feel free with. If you present a good aura, their spirit will most likely open up to you: allowing you to connect with the mind.
Please let us have more discussions about ways people can help others feeling down, or ways people helped you that you have treasured.