Ladies & Gentleman,
Welcome back! I trust you have been keeping well. This discussion is a juicy one with it revolving around abstinence. For those of you who don't know what it means,"Sexual abstinence or sexual restraint is the practice of refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity for medical, psychological, legal, social, financial, philosophical, moral, or religious reasons." In this discussion I am focusing particularly on the effectiveness of sexual abstinence for religious purposes in a world where science tells us sex has several health benefits...what do we do?
Scientific research tells us that sex has positive effects on your health. A study in Pennsylvania found students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of an important illness-fighting substance in their bodies. Immunoglobulin A (IgA) was 30% higher in those who had sex once or twice a week than in those who had no sex at all. Aside from this, when most people engage in sex they are expressing a symbol of 'trust', 'vulnerability' and 'comfortability' with each other. This is what I wanted to pay particular attention to, because if you have decided to be abstinent in a relationship, you have to learn to express the aforementioned symbols in a different way in order for it to work effectively.
The majority of the time, religion encourages abstinence as a method to draw closer to God, a method of self respect and saving ourselves until marriage. I respect and appreciate these values, but I want to reiterate that being abstinent means you have to work harder in other areas to ensure your partner does not feel emotional or physically neglected. How do you develop a love language?
Conversation & Communication
Intimacy tells your partner...'I am attracted to you'. When physical intimacy is out of the equation, you must go out of your way to remind your partner that you still are attracted to them i.e. regular compliments and paying attention to changes lets them know you are trying to study them and get to know their heart.
Go on dates, create memories and enjoy each others company! Create a balance between life and religion. Make religion a priority but do not lose track of satisfying the needs of the relationship. Everybody likes to be spoilt, right?
Expressing your frustrations
There may be points where you become frustrated with the idea of abstinence and it is very important to communicate this with your partner. It is not an easy journey and if your partner is telling you that all is jolly good, they are lying. Communication during your down times may strengthen you as your partner may comfort you and remind you of why you embarked on this journey in the first place.
Anyways I left men in 2018, so feel free to share some tips or opinions on this matter with us below or on any socials!
Until next time,